American Idol Top 13

I gotta say, as much as I feel vindicated for my pre-Oscar fears that Anne Hathaway and James Franco were gonna bite the big one as hosts, is as much as I feel I have to eat a little crow for my insistence that the departure of Simon Cowell and the addition of J-Lo and Stephen Tyler were going to be the ruination of Idol. For a while there, during Hollywood week in particular, I was even starting to think that maybe Cowell's been the major problem with the show for the last few years. Now that we're out of the semifinals and into the finals, I've dialed back on my enthusiasm for this new judging panel a touch. They're starting to fall into that new-judge trap of wanting to be nice at all costs. But I do feel they did a better job assembling a top 24 than other groups did in years past. Apparently, Cowell was on the Tonight Show the other night too talking about how he would have kept Chris Medina around. NO, GOD, NO. I have never sat around saying, "These kids sing well and all, but I just don't feel any connection to them. Don't they have any dead or tragic fiancees they could be pimping out at every turn?" Lord knows what Idol doesn't need is anything remotely resembling Danny Gokey darkening its stage again.

With this years top 13, I think the closest we're coming to the scary depths of sucks previously plumbed by the likes of Camille Valasco, Paige Miles, and Jon Stevens is maybe Haley Reinhart, possibly Ashthon Jones (and I'm not a fan of the superfluous h in her name, either). I don't hold out a ton of hope for Scotty McDeepVoice either; I feel like he's a one-trick pony that is gonna get old quick, but I have to admit that thus far, the majority of his performances have been solid. James Durbin certainly seems like a grade-A douche bag--I feel like with him, I finally understand what some of the Adam Lambert haters were going on about. But Adam always had an air of humility about him that James would be wise to at least pretend to possess as well. I'm always amazed, too, at contestants like Stefano, who pretty well stunk up the place on Tuesday night, then freakin' killed it with his wild card song on Thursday. Why you holding out on us when it counts, man? If you had that in your arsenal, why didn't you bust it out on Tuesday? Could nobody tell the young man that that song was the better choice? And what's up with this Jordan Dorsey? He alluded to this on the show that aired on Tuesday, but apparently he pretty much said on the unedited broadcast that that deadly Usher song was foisted on him against his will. The hell? I mean, if someone was torpedoing him on purpose, I'd like to buy that someone a beer, because he also gave me douche chills, but, why would Jordan let that happen?

I was glad to see Naima get put through on the wild card, but I would have switched Kendra for Ashthon. Jovanny was pretty, and he stayed on pitch and all that, but I think it is a testament to how decent most of the contestants really are this year that he rightfully didn't make it through for no greater sin than being boring. I was sorry to see my sparkly twink Brett get the boot; I held out some hope that he was going to be some awesome combo of the dorkiness/beautiful voice of Clay Aiken with the shimmery awesomeness of an Adam, but there was truly no redeeming that whispery and embarrassing Jim Morrison cover, so he had to go. Jacob Lusk had previously bugged with his rampant over-the-topness, but I thought his Tuesday offering was a bit dialed back, and I can't deny his pure vocal prowess. That Pia chick did kick all sorts of ass with Stand By You, and that really is just about a perfect song to sing at this stage of the competition; good on her for realizing that. Finally, my pick to win the whole shebang is the adorable cuddly lumberjack Casey. I pick him to be the target of my inappropriate cougar crushing for the season as well.