Top Chef-apalooza!

So, here I am all bummed because I don't have a steady diet of at least somewhat quality reality shows to get me through the summer months. For a while I deluded myself into thinking that On the Lot might do the trick, seeing as how it was produced by Spielberg and Mark Burnett, fer chrissakes. Forgive me for thinking that the best reality show producer and a top American movie director might be able to competently produce a reality show about movies. Apparently, I was wrong, and they collectively don't know shit from apple butter about what makes a competition-based reality show about movies fun to watch. I mean, this show should have not only been my summer holdover, it should have been sweet sweet TV crack based on the pedigree alone, but....not so much. I mean, I'll still watch the shit, but that's only because I literally am the easiest sell ever when it comes to competitive reality shows, and right now its only competition are shows about celebrities racing cars and people I don't know dancing. It's weird, but I can not get into any of the "dancing" reality shows. And this coming from a devotee of Shear Genius, a show about hairstylists, for crying out loud. The reason I think that's strange is that I actually did take dance lessons for many years, so of all of the competition type shows out there, you would think that's the one I would cotton to most. It's not as if I can sing, or model, or live on an island full of snakes or bugs, or design dresses, or style hair, or cook, after all. But the one thing I can kind of, sort of do? Psshh, I have no use for you. (Although I am kind of, sort of funny, and I do somewhat enjoy Last Comic Standing, so maybe there's just no rhyme or reason at all.)

Anyhoo's, so if any of y'all aren't yet peeping out Top
Chef, I must say that you're doing yourself a disservice. Not only will you learn shitloads about fancy-pants cooking and ingredients, (case in point? Apparently there exists an animal called a geoduck, which is pronounced like gooey-duck, and which isn't a duck at all, but a fucking big ass phallic clam), you can also revel in the freakshow that is professional chefs letting it all hang out to sometimes disasterous but always fascinating affect. Just think back to all of the freakshows you waited tables and bartended with, and imagine all of that shit being filmed for posterity. Entertaining, non? And if you never worked in a restaurant, think about the friends of yours who did, and what they are like, and then imagine what kind of person not only chooses to work in a restaurant for a living, but consents to go on a reality show about it. So give Top Chefa look-see. It's the only decent reality TV on so far this summer!