Guess who's gonna get her 15 minutes and win some scratch, or at least some turtle wax?

ME! ME!! ME!!!

OK, maybe not...but I am one step closer to the dream, which I discovered when I received this email on Tuesday:

Congratulations! You have been selected for a follow-up appointment at an upcoming Jeopardy! contestant search for the Chicago area, exclusively for those who successfully passed the online test. This is the next step in becoming a Jeopardy! contestant. We have reserved the following appointment for you:

When: Friday, August 3rd Time: 9:00am

Where: Chicago, IL



And blah, blah, blah legal legalitty-cakes..the upshot is that my ass is trying out for Jeopardy on August 3rd, bitches!!

I have since found out a little more about how this all works. Apparently, back in the dark ages, to get on Jeopardy you had to apply to any one of a number of regional tryouts they had each year, or travel on your own dime to LA to get into one of their more frequent tryouts. Then, if you were randomly selected to audition, you would go there and take a 50-question test. If you "passed" (and they never have revealed what their bar for passing is, but anecdotal evidence seems to suggest it's around 35 out of 50 or better), they would have you play a mock game and interview you, and then put you in their contestant pool. Now apparently, being in the "contestant pool" still means you have only a 1 in 6 to 1 in 10 shot at actually getting called to tape show.

However, in these enlightened internet times, they now do a 50 question online test about once a year, and so the way the process now works is out of those folks who "pass" this test, they'll randomly select about 20% of them to move onto the next stage, which is the stage I've been selected for. At my audition, apparently, they will still give us another 50 question test, but everyone will still get to play the mock game and interview no matter what you score on the in-person exam (I guess the theory being that if you passed the online test you must be at least somewhat decent at the game). However, much like how the online test worked, you won't know shit about how you did or if they're interested unless they call you later to tape a game, or not, and apparently it does seem to be true that you have anywhere from a 1/6 to 1/10 chance of actually getting called to be on the show after this audition.

But come on, people. I've got to be cuter than like 85% of the people trying out, right? I've never been one to be overconfident in my looks, but I've gotta believe that in the crowd of nerdy folks who tried out for Jeopardy on the internet, I'm gonna be a Kobe beef steak in a sea of 75/25 ground chuck. In that crowd only, mind. Put me up against the average populace and I'm eye-of-round at best.

Of course, when I took the initial online test Joe was standing behind me and feeding me some answers, but almost all of the questions were ones that both of us knew. There were a few that I knew alone, and a few that he knew alone, but I think I can still do decently enough on my own as long as I bone up on my wesk subjects: history, geography, the Bible, art history, opera---your asses are mine. Just see what this crazy bitch can do with a mission and nothing but free time from now until August 3rd.