I just got back from my trip to NYC to visit Lisa, go to restaurants, and watch a shitload of Ricky Gervais produced telly episodes (see, I feel British now because of all the Gervais-watching, hence my use of telly). I didn't know the last thing was on the agenda, but I was all for it. If you haven't already, I urge you to check out An Idiot Abroad and The Ricky Gervais Show.
But on to the restaurants. The first place we ate was Kin Shop, which is owned and run by one Mr. Harold Dieterle, the first winner of Top Chef. Harold has another restaurant in NY that's been open longer called Perilla, but their menu is the kind of new-Amercian, braised rabbit and squab-type entrees that I know I should crave as an aspiring foodie, but I just don't. So I was more into the idea of Kin Shop, because it is Thai-inspired. As in, not straight-up traditional Thai, but with those same flavor profiles. And yes, I hate myself a little bit that I seriously just used the phrase "flavor profiles" in earnest. I ordered the beef tartare and the spicy duck laab salad. And I don't even like duck, but the menu put their 5-star extra-spicy designation on that dish, and that's like my bat signal. It was the stuff! Probably the best thing I put in my mouth on my trip. So spicy, and served on these lettuce leaves that you could kind of fold up and make your own wraps with. The beef tartare was served with a quail-egg yolk on top, so that was cute. The tartare itself was tasty, but it was more like cubes instead of ground meat, and I think I prefer it ground. The duck on the salad was all ground up, and Lisa and I agreed that it didn't taste like any duck we'd ever had before, in a good way. If I could pick one nit with the place, it was that there was nothing on the table to amuse my bouche before the meal. Call me hopelessly Midwestern, but I'm a gal that likes a bread basket. Or shrimp chips. Something.
The next restaurant we went to was a place called Beauty and Essex on the lower east side. This place was more "trendy" or "scene-y" or something, which I knew going in, but I wanted to see one place like that on my trip. It's also kind of American tapas, all about the small plates for the table that you're meant to share. Plus, they serve bone marrow, and I wanted to try that, because I'm disgusting. Fuck Charlie Sheen, I'm running around Manhattan eating raw beef and sucking the marrow out of bones. Who's the tiger now? And I'm here to tell you that bone marrow is...not all that great, really. I'd eat it again, but then, we've already established that I'm a disgusting tiger. I wouldn't necessarily seek it out again. It tastes like that melty fat part of a steak. It was served with toast and a savory jelly, and that helped. It's just not all that flavorful on its own. We also got this tuna sashimi with chorizo that, next to the duck salad, was probably the most delicious bite I had all week, but the portions on that dish were super-small, so it really was just a bite or two. The lobster tacos were good, but not great, and I was annoyed that there were three of them, seeing as how there were two of us. We also ordered the NY strip steak, which is again meant to be shared and comes with four different dipping sauces. It was really good, and I loved mixing the bearnaise and the chimichurri sauces. Last, but decidedly not least, was the molten chocolate bread pudding with hazelnut ice cream. I'm not the biggest dessert person, but I could not stop eating this. And that came in a huge portion that was more than enough for two, probably three people to share.
For my final fancy meal, we went to Les Halles on Park Avenue in midtown. This place kind of classifies itself as a basic, no-frills French bistro, and if you've read any of Anthony Bourdain's books, he talks about it like it's kind of a dive with decent food. It's not a dive. There was a cluster of what I'm assuming were male models drinking at the bar near our table; in fact, in terms of general attractiveness of the patrons, Les Halles had it going on over Beauty and Essex, which surprised me. I had the frisee aux lardon salad with a poached egg, which is a fancy way of saying a bacon and bleu cheese salad with an egg on top. And it's that kind of lettuce that's all, you know, frizzy-looking. Then I had the steak tartare and frites. The steak tartare was prepared tableside, which was cool in the sense that you could tell the dude if you wanted more or less of the various add-in's, but I always kind of feel like an asshole when I order things like that that draw attention to the table and make more work for the waiter. Lord knows I used to want to cut a bitch for ordering the guacamole that we used to have to prepare tableside at Ramon's Jalapeno. The steak tartare, you will be happy to learn if you are a tiger, was the best I've ever had, and there was quite a large portion of it. The fries were pretty delicious too. Lisa got an order of profiteroles for us to share (oh, and by us, I mean me, Lisa, and Ted Cancila--kicking it old school SLU theater style) for dessert, but I didn't think they were all that wonderful. Just all right for me, dawg. I guess overall Les Halles was my least favorite of the three restaurants, but it was still pretty damn good, and seriously, if you have any desire to try steak tartare, this is the place to do it.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Reality TV Musings
I guess I've abandoned that idea I had to review all 10 of the Oscar movies. I think the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad Oscar telecast kinda took the wind out of my sails on that idea. I'm sorry I have to punish you, pretty good and creative movies, for the sins of your celebratory dinner's hosts (well, host...I'm still willing to give Hathaway a half a pass), but that's the way my ADD-like approach to pop culture crumbles. You're yesterday's news.
So lately, I've been really into Intervention thanks to its preponderance on my Netflix streaming. And it's become a bit of a problem. I seem to gravitate toward the heroin addict ones, and a lot of them talk about "chasing the dragon", like they're continuing to search for that hit that's gonna be as good as the one in their memory. I find myself doing that lately with the episodes themselves. I'll search and search the episode descriptions for the ones that are gonna give me the greatest hit for my money.
I am also one of those dumbasses that watches the Bachelor with alarming regularity. Hey, I didn't say I was proud of it, but to me, there is nothing like watching a weird, creepy, half-fake, full-dysfunctional pseudo-relationship play out before your eyes for like 24 hours worth of filmed entertainment, and then watching the sad aftermath of said fake relationship play out on TV and the internet to appease my nosy-parker instincts quite like that show. Because in one way, it seems like, well of course none of these relationships work out, they're conducted by people on TV, for TV, in a creepy, misogynistic, simultaneously antiquated and fraught-with-the-modern-perils-of-a-life-lived-without-shame-or-boundaries type of way, so of course it wouldn't ever work for real. But then there's another part of me that thinks, if these two famewhores and exercise addicts can't make it work out, what with their apparent shared zeal for both famewhoring and exercise, what chance do any of us crazy kids have in this world? I'm bumming that Chantal won't be the next Bachelorette, though. I'd have liked to see what that big-chested crazy wonder would have brought to the table, much more so than I give a shit what girl-dentist Ashley does in the romance department. Because certainly, dentist-Ashley deserves love, and I'm sure can find it someday, but really, what are the chances it's going to happen this way? There's only so many really dim, really sweet firefighters like Ryan to go around, girl-next-door types. Didn't we already see that? I'd like to see what a rich, chesty, divorcee prone to drunkeness and emotional manipulation would have done with the title. And what the men's response would have been.
I still watch the "skill-based" reality shows too; right now it's Top Chef season, which is my favorite one of all. Cuz it combines a competition with food porn. I just like to imagine what all of their crazy creations would taste like. But my two beefs with this all-star season are...really, it's Mike I., Richard, and Antonia in it to win it, still? I gots no beef with Richard Blais, clearly it's his mission in life, it's going to kill him to not win it, and he is crazy talented. Yes, he's cocky, but it's combined with a crippling lack of confidence, and that's a combination I can get behind, neurosis-wise. It makes no sense, but then, I'm sure it makes no sense in Richard's disturbed mind either, so I call us even. Antonia seems cool....to smoke weed with, but to be my Top Chef? I'm not sure she's ready for the responsibility, you guys. And Mike Isabella, oh Christ, I don't know what to think. Just a dude. Who can occasionally cook really tasty food. And seems like a woman-hater. But like, not as noxious of a woman-hater as some. And seems kind of douchy. But in a way I could maybe stand, as long as he was bringing it with the platefuls of gnocchi with a pork bolognese. Like, his jokes might be funny if they were coming from the dude that just served me a plate of that stuff that he made. So, you know, I hope he doesn't win, but I don't hate him. There's my ringing endorsement of Mike Isabella.
Maybe I can throw some love, last but not least, on The Amazing Race. Flight Time and Big Easy are princes among men, and I won't hear a bad word against them. OK, not really, but they've sure mastered the art of the finely-timed bon-mot, and the legitimate good-friends-ness that permeates through them make them a pleasure to watch on the TV's. And sure, they're more used to it than some, but good-on-em for realizing that people will root for you more if you appear funny and nice than if you appear dickish, weird, frail, or creepy, which seems to be what a lot of the all-stars are going for. I mean, really, Christina's dad (is it Ron?), are you going to subject us to your emotionally abusive behavior towards your daughter a second season? And what in holy hell was up with the Goths this last leg? Was the pressure of pretending to be in a heterosexual relationship when there's clearly more to that story getting to the both of them? God love em, they seem like nice people, but pressure-cooker situations do not seem to be their strength. Perhaps this is owing to the creepiness of the one guy eschewing his natural sexual tendencies for the more socially acceptable relationship, except not really because who really thinks a goth girl with pink hair pretending to have sex with a goth guy with matching drawn-on eyebrows is more socially acceptable than the gay dude just boning another dude and the lady goth being free to have sex with either a more masculine goth or a lady-friend of her own choosing? Do not get. Do not want.
I don't know if I can touch Idol with a ten-foot-pole this week. This is the show, more than any other of my dumbass obsessions, that I try to drag more sane friends into. Just watch it this week with me, I urge, with all the verve and charm of your friendly neighborhood drug dealer. It doesn't make you dirty, I say, it makes you more like me. I like to judge performance. Man, do I like to tell you, my imaginary friend or blog reader, about why or why not someone's talents live up to my exacting standards. And I do. I like watching that show. I thought Simon Cowell leaving was the deal-breaker for me, because I did enjoy that asshole's eviscerations of performances that I felt were also not up to my quality standards. But lately, I've felt like, what's the goddamn point, really? Some kids are gonna suck, some are gonna suck less than you thought, but I'm still gonna keep watching anyway for that elusive magic-in-a-bottle moment that makes you think that some talent that really wouldn't have gotten the light of day otherwise is going to be showcased on this goofy little show. So, I'm protective of the show, that can so easily and so usually spin off into goofball entertainment. Because of this, it makes me sad to say that none of the current crop are roping me in enough with their performances on a week-to-week basis that I can really champion them. So, I'm not going to be able to point to one performer and say, "That's why I watch this show. Because sometimes, you'll see something like that, " with a straight face this year, because even my favorites are inconsistent. But I am digging the fact that I've finally pieced together that Stefano is Tony Danza and Matt LeBlanc's love child, and Scotty is Alfred E. Neuman and George W. Bush's.
That's all I've got, folks. Don't forget to tip your waiters and waitresses. They work hard so that you don't have to.
So lately, I've been really into Intervention thanks to its preponderance on my Netflix streaming. And it's become a bit of a problem. I seem to gravitate toward the heroin addict ones, and a lot of them talk about "chasing the dragon", like they're continuing to search for that hit that's gonna be as good as the one in their memory. I find myself doing that lately with the episodes themselves. I'll search and search the episode descriptions for the ones that are gonna give me the greatest hit for my money.
I am also one of those dumbasses that watches the Bachelor with alarming regularity. Hey, I didn't say I was proud of it, but to me, there is nothing like watching a weird, creepy, half-fake, full-dysfunctional pseudo-relationship play out before your eyes for like 24 hours worth of filmed entertainment, and then watching the sad aftermath of said fake relationship play out on TV and the internet to appease my nosy-parker instincts quite like that show. Because in one way, it seems like, well of course none of these relationships work out, they're conducted by people on TV, for TV, in a creepy, misogynistic, simultaneously antiquated and fraught-with-the-modern-perils-of-a-life-lived-without-shame-or-boundaries type of way, so of course it wouldn't ever work for real. But then there's another part of me that thinks, if these two famewhores and exercise addicts can't make it work out, what with their apparent shared zeal for both famewhoring and exercise, what chance do any of us crazy kids have in this world? I'm bumming that Chantal won't be the next Bachelorette, though. I'd have liked to see what that big-chested crazy wonder would have brought to the table, much more so than I give a shit what girl-dentist Ashley does in the romance department. Because certainly, dentist-Ashley deserves love, and I'm sure can find it someday, but really, what are the chances it's going to happen this way? There's only so many really dim, really sweet firefighters like Ryan to go around, girl-next-door types. Didn't we already see that? I'd like to see what a rich, chesty, divorcee prone to drunkeness and emotional manipulation would have done with the title. And what the men's response would have been.
I still watch the "skill-based" reality shows too; right now it's Top Chef season, which is my favorite one of all. Cuz it combines a competition with food porn. I just like to imagine what all of their crazy creations would taste like. But my two beefs with this all-star season are...really, it's Mike I., Richard, and Antonia in it to win it, still? I gots no beef with Richard Blais, clearly it's his mission in life, it's going to kill him to not win it, and he is crazy talented. Yes, he's cocky, but it's combined with a crippling lack of confidence, and that's a combination I can get behind, neurosis-wise. It makes no sense, but then, I'm sure it makes no sense in Richard's disturbed mind either, so I call us even. Antonia seems cool....to smoke weed with, but to be my Top Chef? I'm not sure she's ready for the responsibility, you guys. And Mike Isabella, oh Christ, I don't know what to think. Just a dude. Who can occasionally cook really tasty food. And seems like a woman-hater. But like, not as noxious of a woman-hater as some. And seems kind of douchy. But in a way I could maybe stand, as long as he was bringing it with the platefuls of gnocchi with a pork bolognese. Like, his jokes might be funny if they were coming from the dude that just served me a plate of that stuff that he made. So, you know, I hope he doesn't win, but I don't hate him. There's my ringing endorsement of Mike Isabella.
Maybe I can throw some love, last but not least, on The Amazing Race. Flight Time and Big Easy are princes among men, and I won't hear a bad word against them. OK, not really, but they've sure mastered the art of the finely-timed bon-mot, and the legitimate good-friends-ness that permeates through them make them a pleasure to watch on the TV's. And sure, they're more used to it than some, but good-on-em for realizing that people will root for you more if you appear funny and nice than if you appear dickish, weird, frail, or creepy, which seems to be what a lot of the all-stars are going for. I mean, really, Christina's dad (is it Ron?), are you going to subject us to your emotionally abusive behavior towards your daughter a second season? And what in holy hell was up with the Goths this last leg? Was the pressure of pretending to be in a heterosexual relationship when there's clearly more to that story getting to the both of them? God love em, they seem like nice people, but pressure-cooker situations do not seem to be their strength. Perhaps this is owing to the creepiness of the one guy eschewing his natural sexual tendencies for the more socially acceptable relationship, except not really because who really thinks a goth girl with pink hair pretending to have sex with a goth guy with matching drawn-on eyebrows is more socially acceptable than the gay dude just boning another dude and the lady goth being free to have sex with either a more masculine goth or a lady-friend of her own choosing? Do not get. Do not want.
I don't know if I can touch Idol with a ten-foot-pole this week. This is the show, more than any other of my dumbass obsessions, that I try to drag more sane friends into. Just watch it this week with me, I urge, with all the verve and charm of your friendly neighborhood drug dealer. It doesn't make you dirty, I say, it makes you more like me. I like to judge performance. Man, do I like to tell you, my imaginary friend or blog reader, about why or why not someone's talents live up to my exacting standards. And I do. I like watching that show. I thought Simon Cowell leaving was the deal-breaker for me, because I did enjoy that asshole's eviscerations of performances that I felt were also not up to my quality standards. But lately, I've felt like, what's the goddamn point, really? Some kids are gonna suck, some are gonna suck less than you thought, but I'm still gonna keep watching anyway for that elusive magic-in-a-bottle moment that makes you think that some talent that really wouldn't have gotten the light of day otherwise is going to be showcased on this goofy little show. So, I'm protective of the show, that can so easily and so usually spin off into goofball entertainment. Because of this, it makes me sad to say that none of the current crop are roping me in enough with their performances on a week-to-week basis that I can really champion them. So, I'm not going to be able to point to one performer and say, "That's why I watch this show. Because sometimes, you'll see something like that, " with a straight face this year, because even my favorites are inconsistent. But I am digging the fact that I've finally pieced together that Stefano is Tony Danza and Matt LeBlanc's love child, and Scotty is Alfred E. Neuman and George W. Bush's.
That's all I've got, folks. Don't forget to tip your waiters and waitresses. They work hard so that you don't have to.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Shit I Hope I Remember to Say to My Daughter When She's a Teen
I feel like I got lucky with Elodie, in that she's not like me. She doesn't seem to recognize bullshit as readily as I feel I did even at a young age. She gets along with people of all stripes, all ages, all skin tones, all douchebag levels, and she accepts people where they are and gets down to the get down with them...her go-to question with a new person is where can we connect? Is it over play-wrestling, or you picking me up and swinging me around? Fine, let's do that. Are you into make-up, and dress-up? I can do that too. Do you want to play pretend? Pick your poison, we can play school, we can play fairies, we can play princesses, we can play family, etc. etc. So, maybe she doesn't need these words from her mother as much as I probably needed them when I was a preteen, but on the chance that her hormones will go all wiggidy-wack and she'll turn into a monster I don't recognize in adolescence, here's some shit I hope I'll remember to say...
1. Adolescence is torture, and anyone that tells you that high school is the best years of your life is a loser.
2. Your mom truly is the smartest person you know, and her advice is correct, and you know this is true, Elodie, because your mom won money for being right on Jeopardy.
3 Just because someone seems to have nothing in common with you on the surface doesn't mean they have nothing to offer you on any level. Conversely, having the same movie tastes, TV tastes, video game tastes, and music tastes in common doesn't mean you agree on life's big questions.
4. Teenagers are terrible people. Don't trust any of them, including yourself. You are making terrible choices right now, probably, and if you aren't, your friends certainly are. That heady cocktail of peer pressure, insecurity, and hormones practically guarantees that what you think is a good idea isn't. Therefore, don't make any decision at all in this state that will have long-term consequences for your future.
5. You wanna know another thing teens suck at? Judging people. Do you think it's just some crazy coincidence that most of the awesome adults on this Earth admit to feeling bullied, or judged, or picked on as a teen? Not fitting in, being smart, being sensitive--believe it or not, actual adults that exist in the real world admire those traits. You never know which of your "dork" acquaintances might be Bill Gates, and if you yourself are a dork? Count yourself lucky. Dorks are usually the people who can see through the teen bullshit at a younger age and aren't willing or able to play along. Being the prettiest girl in high school never guaranteed anybody a trouble-free life.
6. If somebody seems a little off, they are. Everybody who is crazy gives you ample warning signs. I know it seems like the right thing to do, to be their friend, but trust me when i tell you it is better for all involved if you cut them off and walk away. If your crazy friend loses friends, it's going to be a wake-up call to them, and if not, it's better to cut your losses. Specifically, remove yourself from any situation or friend that wants you to do something that you know is wrong or incredibly dangerous. Look, slightly dangerous situations are the lifeblood of a teen, and I get that. I'm talking about if in your gut, even you know this is insanity. Get out of there. He/She is not worth it. You are.
7. Love. Sex. Hoo Boy. I will say just this...Love is great. Sex is grand. The two combined are the best of all. But boys will never be more of a sex-focused pig than they are in the next ten years, and you have to always remember that some of these sex-driven maniacs will turn out to be decent men, and some of them will continue to be sex-driven maniacs, and it's best if you can try to discern between the two. And always, always keep in mind that there are many men out there that will feel the same way about you as whatever Boy X is spouting off to you. In fact, it may be a useful exercise to say to yourself, when Boy X says, "I just think you are the most beautiful woman I've ever known", or "You are my soul mate and therefore you must sleep with me," that there exist at least 10 more men on the planet that would/could/do feel the exact same way. And then, pick and choose among them. And use a condom, for Christ's sake. I don't wanna be a grandma yet.
1. Adolescence is torture, and anyone that tells you that high school is the best years of your life is a loser.
2. Your mom truly is the smartest person you know, and her advice is correct, and you know this is true, Elodie, because your mom won money for being right on Jeopardy.
3 Just because someone seems to have nothing in common with you on the surface doesn't mean they have nothing to offer you on any level. Conversely, having the same movie tastes, TV tastes, video game tastes, and music tastes in common doesn't mean you agree on life's big questions.
4. Teenagers are terrible people. Don't trust any of them, including yourself. You are making terrible choices right now, probably, and if you aren't, your friends certainly are. That heady cocktail of peer pressure, insecurity, and hormones practically guarantees that what you think is a good idea isn't. Therefore, don't make any decision at all in this state that will have long-term consequences for your future.
5. You wanna know another thing teens suck at? Judging people. Do you think it's just some crazy coincidence that most of the awesome adults on this Earth admit to feeling bullied, or judged, or picked on as a teen? Not fitting in, being smart, being sensitive--believe it or not, actual adults that exist in the real world admire those traits. You never know which of your "dork" acquaintances might be Bill Gates, and if you yourself are a dork? Count yourself lucky. Dorks are usually the people who can see through the teen bullshit at a younger age and aren't willing or able to play along. Being the prettiest girl in high school never guaranteed anybody a trouble-free life.
6. If somebody seems a little off, they are. Everybody who is crazy gives you ample warning signs. I know it seems like the right thing to do, to be their friend, but trust me when i tell you it is better for all involved if you cut them off and walk away. If your crazy friend loses friends, it's going to be a wake-up call to them, and if not, it's better to cut your losses. Specifically, remove yourself from any situation or friend that wants you to do something that you know is wrong or incredibly dangerous. Look, slightly dangerous situations are the lifeblood of a teen, and I get that. I'm talking about if in your gut, even you know this is insanity. Get out of there. He/She is not worth it. You are.
7. Love. Sex. Hoo Boy. I will say just this...Love is great. Sex is grand. The two combined are the best of all. But boys will never be more of a sex-focused pig than they are in the next ten years, and you have to always remember that some of these sex-driven maniacs will turn out to be decent men, and some of them will continue to be sex-driven maniacs, and it's best if you can try to discern between the two. And always, always keep in mind that there are many men out there that will feel the same way about you as whatever Boy X is spouting off to you. In fact, it may be a useful exercise to say to yourself, when Boy X says, "I just think you are the most beautiful woman I've ever known", or "You are my soul mate and therefore you must sleep with me," that there exist at least 10 more men on the planet that would/could/do feel the exact same way. And then, pick and choose among them. And use a condom, for Christ's sake. I don't wanna be a grandma yet.
Monday, March 7, 2011
What's Heather Putting in Her Mouth? Trader Joe's Edition
Everyone knows that Trader Joe's is the best supermarket in all the land, right? Global Market on Kirkwood Road is pretty damn good too, but I think Trader Joe's still wins, mainly because of the service and ambience. If you've never been there, I...judge you, frankly. Shit, fool, it's been open in Saint Louis for seven years! But even if you have been there, maybe you've gotten stuck in your own Trader Joe's rut. You know how you do, you have three or four favorites, so you go in, grab those, maybe try a new cheese, bread, or wine if you're really feeling fancy, then leave. I don't purport to be a Trader Joe's expert, but I do have a few favorites that I'll share with you, in no particular order, so you can mix it up a little the next time you go in.
1. Mochi. It's a ball of ice cream surrounded by a gelatinous dough, y'all. Popular in Japan, they have it in flavors such as mango, green tea, and chocolate. Normally, I'm a chocolate girl all the way, but I find the fruitier options are a better choice when you're talking mochi. I think the green tea is my favorite. As my brother said the first time he tried one, "It would almost have been worth it for the Japanese to have defeated us in World War II if it meant I would have grown up eating these."
2. Smoked Salmon. If you're a fan at all of lox and bagels, this salmon is just as good as you would get ordering that in any restaurant, and better than you'll get from like an Einstein bagels or some other chain. Plus you can get a bag that'll hook up at least four big-ass bagels for like 8.99. You can't order one serving of lox and bagels at a restaurant for that price. And it's nice and salty, and pink looking, and non-fishy smelling.
3. Pot Roast. Look, I'm not trying to say pot roast is the most delicious or exotic meal of all time. But theirs comes in a bag, which you can microwave, and it's really freaking tender and yummy. And you can microwave it. In a bag. Throw it on some instant mashed potatoes, and there's dinner--in like three minutes. (get some bleu cheese from their cheese selection and throw it in the instant mashed potatoes and now there's gourmet dinner in like three minutes).
4. Cheese Enchiladas. These come in a one-serving size in the frozen food section. They have chicken enchildas too. Both of them cost around 2 bucks, and they take about 4 minutes in the microwave. They're great to take for your lunch, because they're delicious, they're filling, and each of them is around 400 calories. They're a damn sight tastier than a Lean Cuisine meal for about the same price and about the same calories, is what I'm saying.
5. Mousse Pate. They have a few different kinds of this, some made just with chicken livers, some with chicken and pork livers, some with truffles, some with mushrooms. If you're kind of fancy and like high falutin' meatstuffs, this really is the shizz with some crackers and some cheese. If you think you're not fancy, but you've ever liked braunschweiger, try this because you may just like it. It's spreadable meat!
6. Sea Salt Brownies. I for one am a fan of the put-salty-on-sweet trend, and these little bite-size brownies have just a sprinkle of salt, which makes the chocolate taste more chocolately without imparting much of a salty flavor. Just a soupcon, just a smidge. Yes, please.
7. Cilantro Jalapeno Hummus. All of their hummus is good, but this one is my favorite. The cilantro imparts a fresh taste, and the jalapeno imparts just a little heat. This hummus on some bagel chips may be the world's most perfect snack food.
I may come back and add to this list later, but this ought to get you started...
1. Mochi. It's a ball of ice cream surrounded by a gelatinous dough, y'all. Popular in Japan, they have it in flavors such as mango, green tea, and chocolate. Normally, I'm a chocolate girl all the way, but I find the fruitier options are a better choice when you're talking mochi. I think the green tea is my favorite. As my brother said the first time he tried one, "It would almost have been worth it for the Japanese to have defeated us in World War II if it meant I would have grown up eating these."
2. Smoked Salmon. If you're a fan at all of lox and bagels, this salmon is just as good as you would get ordering that in any restaurant, and better than you'll get from like an Einstein bagels or some other chain. Plus you can get a bag that'll hook up at least four big-ass bagels for like 8.99. You can't order one serving of lox and bagels at a restaurant for that price. And it's nice and salty, and pink looking, and non-fishy smelling.
3. Pot Roast. Look, I'm not trying to say pot roast is the most delicious or exotic meal of all time. But theirs comes in a bag, which you can microwave, and it's really freaking tender and yummy. And you can microwave it. In a bag. Throw it on some instant mashed potatoes, and there's dinner--in like three minutes. (get some bleu cheese from their cheese selection and throw it in the instant mashed potatoes and now there's gourmet dinner in like three minutes).
4. Cheese Enchiladas. These come in a one-serving size in the frozen food section. They have chicken enchildas too. Both of them cost around 2 bucks, and they take about 4 minutes in the microwave. They're great to take for your lunch, because they're delicious, they're filling, and each of them is around 400 calories. They're a damn sight tastier than a Lean Cuisine meal for about the same price and about the same calories, is what I'm saying.
5. Mousse Pate. They have a few different kinds of this, some made just with chicken livers, some with chicken and pork livers, some with truffles, some with mushrooms. If you're kind of fancy and like high falutin' meatstuffs, this really is the shizz with some crackers and some cheese. If you think you're not fancy, but you've ever liked braunschweiger, try this because you may just like it. It's spreadable meat!
6. Sea Salt Brownies. I for one am a fan of the put-salty-on-sweet trend, and these little bite-size brownies have just a sprinkle of salt, which makes the chocolate taste more chocolately without imparting much of a salty flavor. Just a soupcon, just a smidge. Yes, please.
7. Cilantro Jalapeno Hummus. All of their hummus is good, but this one is my favorite. The cilantro imparts a fresh taste, and the jalapeno imparts just a little heat. This hummus on some bagel chips may be the world's most perfect snack food.
I may come back and add to this list later, but this ought to get you started...
Friday, March 4, 2011
American Idol Top 13
I gotta say, as much as I feel vindicated for my pre-Oscar fears that Anne Hathaway and James Franco were gonna bite the big one as hosts, is as much as I feel I have to eat a little crow for my insistence that the departure of Simon Cowell and the addition of J-Lo and Stephen Tyler were going to be the ruination of Idol. For a while there, during Hollywood week in particular, I was even starting to think that maybe Cowell's been the major problem with the show for the last few years. Now that we're out of the semifinals and into the finals, I've dialed back on my enthusiasm for this new judging panel a touch. They're starting to fall into that new-judge trap of wanting to be nice at all costs. But I do feel they did a better job assembling a top 24 than other groups did in years past. Apparently, Cowell was on the Tonight Show the other night too talking about how he would have kept Chris Medina around. NO, GOD, NO. I have never sat around saying, "These kids sing well and all, but I just don't feel any connection to them. Don't they have any dead or tragic fiancees they could be pimping out at every turn?" Lord knows what Idol doesn't need is anything remotely resembling Danny Gokey darkening its stage again.
With this years top 13, I think the closest we're coming to the scary depths of sucks previously plumbed by the likes of Camille Valasco, Paige Miles, and Jon Stevens is maybe Haley Reinhart, possibly Ashthon Jones (and I'm not a fan of the superfluous h in her name, either). I don't hold out a ton of hope for Scotty McDeepVoice either; I feel like he's a one-trick pony that is gonna get old quick, but I have to admit that thus far, the majority of his performances have been solid. James Durbin certainly seems like a grade-A douche bag--I feel like with him, I finally understand what some of the Adam Lambert haters were going on about. But Adam always had an air of humility about him that James would be wise to at least pretend to possess as well. I'm always amazed, too, at contestants like Stefano, who pretty well stunk up the place on Tuesday night, then freakin' killed it with his wild card song on Thursday. Why you holding out on us when it counts, man? If you had that in your arsenal, why didn't you bust it out on Tuesday? Could nobody tell the young man that that song was the better choice? And what's up with this Jordan Dorsey? He alluded to this on the show that aired on Tuesday, but apparently he pretty much said on the unedited broadcast that that deadly Usher song was foisted on him against his will. The hell? I mean, if someone was torpedoing him on purpose, I'd like to buy that someone a beer, because he also gave me douche chills, but, why would Jordan let that happen?
I was glad to see Naima get put through on the wild card, but I would have switched Kendra for Ashthon. Jovanny was pretty, and he stayed on pitch and all that, but I think it is a testament to how decent most of the contestants really are this year that he rightfully didn't make it through for no greater sin than being boring. I was sorry to see my sparkly twink Brett get the boot; I held out some hope that he was going to be some awesome combo of the dorkiness/beautiful voice of Clay Aiken with the shimmery awesomeness of an Adam, but there was truly no redeeming that whispery and embarrassing Jim Morrison cover, so he had to go. Jacob Lusk had previously bugged with his rampant over-the-topness, but I thought his Tuesday offering was a bit dialed back, and I can't deny his pure vocal prowess. That Pia chick did kick all sorts of ass with Stand By You, and that really is just about a perfect song to sing at this stage of the competition; good on her for realizing that. Finally, my pick to win the whole shebang is the adorable cuddly lumberjack Casey. I pick him to be the target of my inappropriate cougar crushing for the season as well.
With this years top 13, I think the closest we're coming to the scary depths of sucks previously plumbed by the likes of Camille Valasco, Paige Miles, and Jon Stevens is maybe Haley Reinhart, possibly Ashthon Jones (and I'm not a fan of the superfluous h in her name, either). I don't hold out a ton of hope for Scotty McDeepVoice either; I feel like he's a one-trick pony that is gonna get old quick, but I have to admit that thus far, the majority of his performances have been solid. James Durbin certainly seems like a grade-A douche bag--I feel like with him, I finally understand what some of the Adam Lambert haters were going on about. But Adam always had an air of humility about him that James would be wise to at least pretend to possess as well. I'm always amazed, too, at contestants like Stefano, who pretty well stunk up the place on Tuesday night, then freakin' killed it with his wild card song on Thursday. Why you holding out on us when it counts, man? If you had that in your arsenal, why didn't you bust it out on Tuesday? Could nobody tell the young man that that song was the better choice? And what's up with this Jordan Dorsey? He alluded to this on the show that aired on Tuesday, but apparently he pretty much said on the unedited broadcast that that deadly Usher song was foisted on him against his will. The hell? I mean, if someone was torpedoing him on purpose, I'd like to buy that someone a beer, because he also gave me douche chills, but, why would Jordan let that happen?
I was glad to see Naima get put through on the wild card, but I would have switched Kendra for Ashthon. Jovanny was pretty, and he stayed on pitch and all that, but I think it is a testament to how decent most of the contestants really are this year that he rightfully didn't make it through for no greater sin than being boring. I was sorry to see my sparkly twink Brett get the boot; I held out some hope that he was going to be some awesome combo of the dorkiness/beautiful voice of Clay Aiken with the shimmery awesomeness of an Adam, but there was truly no redeeming that whispery and embarrassing Jim Morrison cover, so he had to go. Jacob Lusk had previously bugged with his rampant over-the-topness, but I thought his Tuesday offering was a bit dialed back, and I can't deny his pure vocal prowess. That Pia chick did kick all sorts of ass with Stand By You, and that really is just about a perfect song to sing at this stage of the competition; good on her for realizing that. Finally, my pick to win the whole shebang is the adorable cuddly lumberjack Casey. I pick him to be the target of my inappropriate cougar crushing for the season as well.
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