Musings on American Idol, with 10 of these hillbillies left

First, I would like to state that only a few of the remaining contestants actually fit the term "hillbillies" (Chrises Richardson and Sligh, I'm looking at you), as this season has seen a suprising dearth in the number of southern gents and ladies that usually steamroll right over the hipper, blue state contestants, but I just think the word hillbillies is hilarious and I hereby envoke my right to use it whenever possible, accurate or no.

Second, I would like to publicly air my not-popular opinion that Sanjaya Malakar is not the worst contestant this contest has ever seen. People, are we forgetting the "J's" of season one, both EJ and RJ? Sure, EJ Day was rightfully given Das Boot in a quickness, but RJ Helton was the first season's number 5 finisher. He was a gay robot with no rhythm, who actually FELL OFF THE STAGE DURING REHEARSAL. Sure, the stage was smaller in those less heady times, but still...I'm no pro, but I'm pretty sure I could refrain from TUMBLING TO THE GROUND were I ever asked to sing in public. And let's not forget that Nikki McKibbin, cute to be sure, but certainly no vocal wunderkind, finished third that season. I ain't even going to touch on Justin Guarini's second place finish, because I still to this day think he's talented and cute. Yeah, I said it.

Season two brought us the Mormon treat of Carmen Rasmussen, or "Goat Girl" to her many non-fans. Remember her? That was back when Simon was convinced that us Americans wouldn't vote for any fatties or Blackies, so he picked her as his wild card. I guess the thinking was that America would go wild for a blonde "good girl" who could naughty herself up with copious amounts of lipgloss, but no amount of sheen in the world was going to make that throaty vibrato any less henious. I believe she finished in about 7th place.

Season three featured the Hawaiian charms of both Camille Valasco and Jasmine Trias. Jasmine was kind of up and down, and occasionally gave a halfway decent performance, but if that was the third best in a season that included the J-Hud and LaToya London, I'll eat my hat. And Camille? Oh, Camille. Picture a 19-year-old stoner with a real rough and cracked-out voice donning terry cloth wristbands and getting up on a stage to croon in front of millions. Now make her real nervous and sweaty, not to mention actually stoned at the time, but not in a fun way, in a paranoid way. That was Camille Valasco.

I'm not going to go on, but just to reiterate my point, I'll ask you to recall that I haven't even touched on Kevin "Chicken Little" Covais, John Paul "I'm all nervous and ginger" Stephens, The Pen Salesman, who was so fucking boring that his name eludes me, Corey f'in Clark, and Scott Savol, and I hope I've made the point that Sanjaya Malakar sticking around for a few more weeks isn't exactly out of the norm for this show.