Brangelina, the Infangelina, and More!

So, you all know I'm a crazed loon about celebrity gossip, yes? Well for me, the absolute pinnacle of that shit still remains the golden troika of Brad, Ange, and Jen. Seriously folks, most of the time I can somewhat contain my love for all things trashy and gossipy and "not-really-important-in-the-big-scheme-of-things"y--but not when it comes to these three. If I could have but one superpower, it would be invisibility, and then I would take my invisible ass on over to Malibu and hide out in Jennifer Aniston's shower for the weekend and furiously scribble down notes in one of those tiny little spiral notepads that are just made for jotting down nuggets of information. Of course, then the notepad wouldn't be invisible, so when she came into the bathroom to take a shower, I'd have to quickly throw that shit into the towel hamper so as not to be detected--BUT NOT BEFORE I QUICKLY MADE NOTE OF HER NAKED BODY AND JOTTED DOWN HOW IT LOOKED. Jennifer Aniston's body fascinates me because of the fact that she was all booty and titty-licious for like the first season of Friends, and then was clearly made to lose weight, and then she did, and now her body is all rock hard and lean, but not grossly anorexically so, but she's always going on and on in interviews about how she's Greek and she's meant to have boobs and a butt and that she loves Mexican food and margaritas, and like...what is this bitch's secret? She's no youngstah anymore either. How does she do it? I need to know.

More to come...